LORNA
Oh, Rusty, tell me we’re mad. Mad to be thinking of cold-blooded murder on the hottest day of the year.

RUSTY
Easy, baby.  Don’t give yourself a sunburn that I don’t have the lotion for.

The Paperboy Always Rings Twice (sample)
By Robb Piggot

This play was first produced June 2018 as part of the Monkey With A Hat On         Summer Ten Minute Play Festival.

CHARACTERS

LORNA: A sultry siren of the suburbs, trapped in an unhappy marriage. Cheap as her drugstore hair dye, yet dangerous as a fuzzy pink tarantula.

WALTER: Regular Joe, working stiff and long-suffering husband. Kind and gregarious towards others, yet short-tempered and cruel to his wife.

RUSTY: Would-be college freshman and struggling paperboy. Rakish good looks, all-American charm, yet with a savage smoldering sexuality not often found on Main Street.

SETTING
The Anderson’s backyard. A pair of folding lawn chairs with small folding table between them. An inflatable children’s pool. A garden hose. A watering can. A lawn gnome. Assorted flower pots.

TIME
One July afternoon in 1951.

Note: As in all film-noirs, dialogue should be delivered melodramatically, yet completely straight-faced.

(The lights come up on LORNA languidly applying her lipstick as WALTER sits, dipping his feet into the pool.)

LORNA
My God, it’s hot. Not even noon and the lawn flamingoes are melting into the sidewalk.

WALTER
It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.

LORNA
Oppressive. Like our marriage.

WALTER
Listen, little Miss Missy – don’t I always provide for you?

LORNA
That’s a laugh coming from a lover-man like you.

WALTER
Now Lorna, you watch yourself –

(WALTER steps forward to threaten LORNA. The sound of a bicycle bell. Beat. The sound of a bicycle bell. RUSTY enters.)

WALTER
Well look who it is – our faithful paperboy, Rusty. I hope I’m not late with this month’s payment, am I?

RUSTY
No sir, you’re paid up till the end of August.

WALTER
Well,  then this is a pleasant surprise. Why don’t you set for a spell?

RUSTY
No time, sir. I’ve still got all these flyers to pass out to the neighborhood.

WALTER (reading flyer)
“Beat the Heat – Quality Lawn Service at a Fair Price” Isn’t that something, Mother?

LORNA
Our Rusty’s a real go-getter.

WALTER
Any other young man your age would be taking the summer off before his first year at State College.

LORNA
A regular entrepreneur.

WALTER
Listen to her. Three dollar words in a two dollar dress.

RUSTY
Only I didn’t get that scholarship that I’d counted on.

LORNA
It’s a shame when people don’t get what they want.

RUSTY
So, unless I can save up enough money this summer, business school will have to wait another semester or two.

WALTER
I’m sure we must have one or two odd jobs around here –

LORNA
It’s been months since my hedges had a good trimming.

WALTER (to LORNA)
Why don’t you pop yourself into that kitchen and fetch us something cold to drink while Rusty and I talk a little business?

LORNA
I could use something tall and wet.

(LORNA exits.)